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How to Stay Stressed
Good Suggestions for Bad Health, by David Gordon

• Always begin by setting impossibly high standards for yourself

• Compare yourself only with the greatest masters of all times

• Take all criticism as total truth and take it personally

• Condemn all your mistakes and imperfections without mercy

• View your work not as a commitment but as a burden to resent

• Fixate on the outcome, and ignore the process

• Identify the success of every endeavor as
an assessment of your value as a human being

• Worry constantly about factors beyond your control

• Avoid all meditation and relaxation

• Eliminate your sense of humor

• Never listen to music for pleasure

• If you have a physical problem, seek a quick,
easy solution outside yourself

• Don't exercise; eat anything at all, anytime you want

• Smoke, drink, use stimulants, take drugs

• Don't fasten your seatbelt

• Take on too much, never say no

• Rate everything as critically and equally important

• Stay disorganized

• Ignore your support networks

• Don't ask for help

• Take no responsibility for your behavior

• Exploit the friendship of others for your short-term advantage

• Stay in the victim position

• When in doubt, blame someone else

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