FROM TUCK
ANDRESS OF 'TUCK & PATTI'
on the
subject of control and spontaneity
Here are some common ways
guitarists try to solve the problem of accuracy on an incredibly
difficult instrument:
They concentrate on making and
refining the smallest motions possible.
They tense up the rest of their body in the process of isolating
the focus to the small muscles of the hand and wrist.
They hunch their shoulders and lean over the guitar.
They repress the frustration years of this creates.
All this goes directly counter
to good feel.
They try to control all external
and peripheral factors: Guitar type, strap length, standing or
sitting position, type of pick, gauge of strings, action adjustment,
saddle height, amp tone, volume level, band mix, ambient temperature,
health and nutrition, performance conditions, vibe in venue,
personal mental state.
All this goes directly counter
to spontaneity and embracing and responding to the realities
of life. I know because I tried it.
Here are some examples of
realities I have personally encountered which were not sufficiently
addressed by this style of preparation:
Borrowed guitar bridge or nut sliding during
string bending or vibrato wrong strap length or strap breaking
during solo
unwound guitar string used as backup strap gradually cutting
through shirt and shoulder sleeve snagging on bridge suddenly
locking up hand wrong pick dropped pick broken pick no pick pick stuck between strings finger
caught between strings wrong strings dead strings sticky strings blood on strings broken strings no extra strings jar of honey spilled all over
strings
vintage L-5's gig bag shoulder strap breaking immediately before
album release concert for 5,000 people causing guitar to fall
on concrete and creating crack from tailpiece to neck which gradually
splits apart during performance with action getting higher and
higher
amp too far away amp too close amp broken so play through bass
amp or P.A.
tone all wrong overdrive bypass switch broken cymbal in ear band too loud audience too loud band downstairs too loud bad monitors
no monitors
in-ear
monitors broken so Patti is heard acoustically but Tuck is heard
only through house PA 50 yards away resulting in Tuck being unavoidably
out of sync with Patti by 1/6 second for whole show guitar buzz RF from nearby transmitter louder
than the music itself brownouts making organ pitch fluctuate randomly
over an octave range power outage equipment plugged into 230 volts
immediately before show earthquake during show in high-rise
outdoor
desert performance at 131 degrees with sand-blasting winds sub-freezing
outdoor mountaintop performance with snow storms and 40 mph winds
high altitude
dizziness
no sleep
no food
too much food wrong food food poisoning fever locked bathrooms way too many liquids before long
show
nagging suspicion that zipper is down contact lens falling out during
moment of peak concentration compromised hand position due
to repeatedly sliding full width of stage while trying to keep
playing but not collide with Patti on yacht in rough Finnish
Gulf of Bothnia charts blown away by wind charts on thermal fax paper charts
in wrong key
charts without bar lines charts with bar lines all displaced
by two beats
charts in bass clef or C clef > chord charts with do/re/mi
instead of C/D/E and everything else in Portuguese realization that Miles Davis,
Dizzy Gillespie, Joe Pass, George Benson, Chaka Khan, Bobby McFerrin
or Steve Gadd just walked in drunks falling on stage drunks
disrobing on stage drunks grabbing instruments or band members
band members
falling asleep during song pigs frolicking in sawdust-covered
frat house knocking over band equipment thinly veiled animosity between
bride's and groom's families erupting into violence during heartfelt
version of My Romance nightly juggling of playing and operating
the lighting console/footswitches and talking to audience members
and trying to reign in tempos and egos of various fellow top-40
band members
arrival at duo gig with unbelievably loud, aggressive fuzz-wah
hard rock bass player to discover that assignment is to back
up elderly white-haired and white-suited gentleman singing unfamiliar
country songs to unforgiving patrons crowded upscale happy hour dance
floor unraveling into pandemonium as normal-looking customers
all collapse to the floor and writhe around on each other while
astonished saxophone-playing duo partner walks out leaving helpless
solo guitarist playing The Hustle for 25 minutes funk bass player imprisoned in
lounge band insisting on popping strings throughout sensitive
ballads
accidental imprisonment of Patti in wine cellar out of earshot
during guitar instrumentals onstage and on-instrument living
creatures with varying numbers of legs belligerent drunken bowling alley
lounge customer demanding that funk band play Debussy's Clair
de Lune while remainder of band looks expectantly at guitarist
drummer
watching ball game on portable TV with headphones throughout
performance
guest singer repeatedly changing keys at random moments > realization
that the people who have just boldly picked up instruments and
are unexpectedly sitting in are Herbie Hancock and Wah Wah Watson
guns drawn
at rehearsals to settle disputes about form of song marginally famous singer resorting
to the dreaded "Do you know who I am" line drummer and delusional would-be
front man jumping off the drums in the middle of a song and mistakenly
chanting "we don't need no drummer to keep that funky beat"
to a dance floor packed with suddenly hostile former dancers
unstable
band member deciding that it is his responsibility to educate
the audience over the microphone bass player playing random notes
and rhythms because he is not a bass player at all but nonetheless
booked the gig drummer announcing that he killed somebody
just before the show swimming pool party turning into orgy with
splashing on inexperienced solo electric guitarist sitting beside
pool doing his first solo gig and fielding endless requests for
the same song he had just played yet again bride's and groom's special song
evaporating from mortified solo musician's mind at the crucial
moment
band member disappearing suddenly when his chair falls backwards
off riser
unstable enormous man peaking on LSD brandishing artificial limb
removed from his companion at audience and threatening band to
"sing with this" mirrors on back wall of club
causing introspective young guitarist to question meaning of
his life at early stage in career.
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