How to Stay Stressed
Good Suggestions for Bad Health, by David Gordon
 Set impossibly high standards for yourself
Compare yourself only with the greatest masters of the ages
Take all criticism as absolute truth and take it all personally
Condemn your mistakes and imperfections without mercy
View your work not as a commitment but as a burden to resent
Fixate on the goal, and ignore the process
Identify the outcome of every endeavor as an assessment
of your value as a human being
Worry obsessively about factors beyond your control
Avoid all meditation and relaxation
Eliminate your sense of humor
Never listen to music for pleasure
If you have a physical problem, seek a quick, easy solution outside yourself
Don't exercise; eat anything at all, anytime you want
Smoke, drink, use stimulants, take drugs
Don't fasten your seatbelt
Take on too much, never say no
Rate everything as critically and equally important
Stay disorganized
Ignore your support networks
Don't ask for help
Take no responsibility for your behavior
Exploit the friendship of others for your short-term advantage
Stay in the victim position
When in doubt, blame someone else
Copyright © 2003 David Gordon
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